People have asked me to be honest. I had one, two, three requests last Fall, and I had a notion for a post, too, to revisit some prior ruminations on honesty, and humanity, and I did … nothing.
Until now. When I have to admit that I’m:
1. a procrastinator. I suppose it could be called laziness, but I prefer to think that I’m preoccupied and … planning. Yeah, that’s it. I’m planning how to pull together the right post as well as possible, without wasted starts, maximizing my effort for the greatest efficiency.
But I wasn’t only putting off the Honest Scrap post. I’ve been putting off :
2. my plans to blog about the best foreign movies. We’ve been Netflixing all these great movies and I’ve had this notion to go back through our list of films rented and pluck out the ones I’ve liked best, then organize them by nationality. There is an advantage to foreign films, wherever you are, once you factor in the Action Flick Exemption.
We don’t see many bad French or Indian or Australian films. Oh, some probably make the trip across the ocean, but, generally, the movies that do well enough in their own country to get noticed and make it over here tend to be pretty good.
Obviously, Hollywood makes a lot of action movies knowing they will get a lot of play abroad, hence the Action Flick Exemption. Purportedly, American comedies don’t play as well overseas, as there are so many puns and inside references, but blazing guns and bright explosions translate everywhere. So that’s what the world gets from us. (Sigh.) Yet you can find good movies wherever you are, as they’re made pretty much all over the planet (lucky us!) so this item is both a procrastination and a hope for the new year. Maybe I’ll get around to my movie lists.
3. I don’t always take compliments well. E.g., I’m a home brewer. I’ve been lucky, and use a system that gives me a lot of control over flavor. Beerdrinkers like my beer, well enough that some coworkers suggested I supply beer for our office holiday party, and for the past couple years now I bring in about ten gallons of suds, selecting some of the styles that have turned out well, and it’s served to any of the hundred or so employees, family, and alumni who come to gnosh and socialize. Sometimes, when people gush to me about the beer as the best they’ve ever tasted, my tongue gets tied. Part of my brain wants to point out that craft brewers have far better systems and, as much as I enjoy my beer, I wish I had some of the higher tech toys they have (temperature control, ferinstance) and another part of my brain says just shut up and be gracious, so what really happens is I turn a bit red, then realize I’m reddening, which only increases the flow of blood to my face …
Nevermind.
4. I’m vowing to get past some of my technophobia in the new decade. I’ve never liked cell phones for instance. I’ve taken public transit for years, forcing me to share intimate space with many other souls — thousands, over the years — some of whom have chosen to share intimate details of their lives as we hurtle along toward work together. Loudly. All too often very loudly.
I’ve come to realize that the damned contraptions have worse acoustics than landlines, so people have to bellow at them to be heard. Still. The best cell phone story I ever heard was about an opera singer on a crowded train who, sardined near a loud cell phone jabberer, began singing. Also loudly. Other commuters got it, and began laughing. The jabberer, however, merely covered his ear and hollered into his phone, “What?! I can’t hear you! There’s a guy singing really loud here!”
Still, it’s only fair to my wife that I be available by phone for her, too. (I do want Mrs. O to have a cell phone, especially when she is driving, in case of car trouble.) So I’m going to try and be better about this freakin’ walkie talkie gadget and its, umm, conveniences.
5. I’m also going to try online banking. For the same reason as 4 above: it’s time to join the 21st century.
6. I also have all these notes for my Fletcher’s idea, which is supposed to be a dialogue exercise, just fictive folks chatting comfortably and boisterously in a bar setting, which I tried a few years ago and then drifted to the wayside. This isn’t high on the list — but I’d like to revive the Fletcher’s concept, too.
7. Honesty is a tricky topic for me, as I essentially believe that words are lies and you have to work hard to get past their inherent dishonesty. Deception is everywhere, especially in our brain’s internal memoranda, and the first step to getting past your own noggin’s safety mechanism is to be bluntly honest with yourself about them.
8. Further, sometimes I think we can have too much fun with this. Guys in particular are perilously fond of pranks.
9. Still, if you do make the effort, it can open some amazing windows to people and how they work. and I believe that once you have that tool, it’s always handy.
10. Last, are our dogs’s behaviors an honest reflection of our own? Then I’ll admit the truth: my Ernie dog has a shoe fetish. Not like Imelda Marcos’s shoe fetish. Or Maurice’s footwear fetish on the wonderful TV show Northern Exposure.
Ernie knows my shoes. When I get up early in the morning, with insomnia, moving quietly in the darkness so as not to wake my wife, Ernie waits to find out what footwear I select. As I put on my shoes he comes forward to sniff them hopefully. If I put on slippers or clogs for around the house, he knows the odds of a walk are dim. So he lies down again. But there are sneakers and other shoes he knows mean the odds of a walk are pretty good, and when I put those shoes on, he follows me around the house, waiting for the magic moment when the closet door opens, and I lift the leashes from their hook.
Dawn approaches; it’s time for me to go change shoes and make a pair of dogs very happy.
Happy New Year, Ombudsben. And welcome to the 21st century. Before you know it, you’ll be tweeting too. 😉
Ruby knows my shoes too. She also knows When the Right Shoes are likely to result in a walk. Dogs are amazing. Happy New Year.
Though you seem to clutch tightly on to raw honesty when it comes to your own traits, I do believe you managed to release a few very telling ones. Now. Doesn’t that feel better? 🙂
All very interesting responses. I carry a cell phone with 100 free minutes plus weekends and never use more than 10 minutes a month, and yet I MUST have a smart phone to start the year. The computer inside is what I really want, to be able to email, blog, get directions, nearby restaurants, and of course, Twitter. I doubt I will still talk more than 10 minutes, but use a lot of web surfing.
I, too had problems with compliment, choosing the course of denial. One day I learned what works: Thank you. That phrase still doesn’t come easy because it seems I am acknowledging that your glowing words are right. So I practice and practice.
Enjoyed your post.
Had to come back to comment on the compliments. Being a person prone to redness in general (having been born that way), almost anything can make me even redder, compliments being one of the worst of them all.
One day someone said to me that compliments are gifts, often small gifts, and if we can’t accept and be thankful for the small gifts of life (compliments), why should we expect to receive anything bigger?
Not that I need/expect anything bigger but it did occur to me that it’s terribly rude to turn down a gift of any kind. Including a compliment.
I bet your beer is really good. 🙂
I like Anhinga’s comment and agree… you’ve got a death grip on the raw honesty rope that’s keeps that bag sealed. : )
About #3… I’m the same way. I meet quite a few people who accept compliments graciously but I wonder if they really are. I mean I accept them graciously but inside the battle is waging wondering if the compliment was sincere or just being nice.
But as to your beer analogy. There’s a joke that photographers sometimes tell that speaks to your better gear wish.
Photographer is showing his work to friends and acquaintances at a small dinner party. The hostess while admiring his work says how wonderful the images are and then says, “you must have really expensive equipment.” She heads to the kitchen and comes back with the main course.
The photographer says how wonderful the meal was she cooked and says, “you must have really expensive pots and pans.”
I’m sure your beer is quite tasty. Poor me a glass of brown ale if you don’t mind, sir.
Robin, Tweeting? Which should I do first, Facebook or Twitter? Or maybe continue confusing myself with the digital camera? To say nothing of the cell phone which has begun talking to me when I open it …
Good for Ruby, HMH, although I hope she doesn’t step on your shoes when you’re trying to put them on, as my exciteable hounds do.
Anhinga, I’m going to follow your blog more avidly, now, to see how you like the new gadgetry. Maybe now that we’re in the second decade of the new century, I’ll be ready to wise up my phone, too.
Good joke, J, I’ll use it! Especially as I have really expensive brewing equipment. *wink*
I think I’d go with Facebook, OmbudsBen. I resisted it for the longest time, but it’s not the dark side I thought it would be. 😉
Twitter, I’ve decided, is just not for me. Perhaps it’s because of the brevity thing. I still post there occasionally but really don’t find it to be all that much fun and I figure if I’m not having fun with these things, why bother?
On the other hand… if you have a digital camera and a new cell phone to contend with, maybe you better take a pass on both Facebook and Twitter for now…
I hope to make a decision soon on my new smart phone. My son and I went in the mall before 3:00 this afternoon and came out at 7:00. All we did besides eat was research phones. I’m leaning toward iPhone because they hold your hand and give free help and lessons if needed. Also all my kids are on AT&T and free calls. Now to negotiate on calling minutes I don’t need and get the price down. Once I decide and get my feet wet I’ll post the adventure. New things for the new year. That’s my motto.
As for twitter and Facebook, depends on whether you like to keep in touch (or get in touch) with people from all walks of your life (fun to me) or join in the challenge of creating one liners on mostly current events. If you like boiling thoughts down to their essence you will love twitter. I suppose there are twitterers who just recite their breakfast menu, but you don’t have to follow them. The good part is it costs nothing to try them out except time. 🙂
I haven’t spent much time on Facebook, but it always seemed to me that postings on it might be somewhat redundant to the blog. Guess I should check it out more.
Anhinga, you should write consumer reviews!
The beauty of Facebook and Twitter is that you can steer readers to your blog with links and a teaser in the beginning of your post (even accompanying picture).
Thanks for the props. I certainly study things to death before making a decision. Now I’m weighing smart phone against, cheap phone and a netbook. Stay tuned.