I tell people that I have my name taped atop my bathroom mirror so that I can introduce myself in the morning.
Ok, that’s an exaggeration. But the truth is that I’m terrible with faces: I forget who people are. There are rare victories where, when watching a movie, I’ve recognized an actor before my wife does, but Sasquatch is sighted more often than this happens. So I tell people I have to introduce me to myself as a way of warning them ahead of time at how very bad I am at face recognition.
Still, nothing like this morning has happened before.
The wife dropped me off at BART and down I went, to the train platform, when the younger man ahead of me turned and called my name with a hearty smile, clearly happy to have run into me in such an unexpected place, stepping up to greet me.
And threw me into a complete panic. Having been the reluctant jobhopper, with jobs moved out of state on me three times, on an almost annual basis, back in ’00 to ’03, I assumed this was a young former coworker whom I could not place.
As we shook his hands I did a rapid inventory, one of those speed of thought numbers — his face was familiar — yet the gears of memory spun freely, the teeth of my mind caught nowhere. I had to admit to a blankness of mind that embarrassed me about as thoroughly as if my trousers were down around my ankles and not only the boxer/brief question but the colors and/or patterns thereon was answered and apparent for all.
He introduced himself as B–, the boyfriend of a good friend and former coworker of mine, K–. I’ve had meals with him; he’s been to our house. He and K have moved nearby to Oakland recently, so he is learning the commute and was bursting with news of moving into his new home and doing yard work for the first time and learning his new neighborhood — we had a very fun chat standing on the BART train as we hurtled along at 70 miles an hour through the Tube on the floor of the Bay.
He normally drives, but today is a “Spare the Air” Day, meaning mass transit is free to encourage people to get out of their cars. So our coincidental timing was perfect, even if my memory is not.
I’ve never had a knack for putting name to face, and have had to work at it before. The same as I work at remembering phone numbers — although once I set a mnemonic hook for a phone number, I had it and, though the Velcro of my memory is wearing out, it’s still fairly good.
But faces are another story. Still, I’ve never done this before. I look forward to visiting their house, to seeing K and B together, to sharing in their excitement. While we share much humor, I’m not sure his is bent as much as mine so that he’d find it amusing if I wore a mask to his house.
Be glad, my pen pals of the internet, that I am relying on your names and sites to recognize you, and it’s a darn good thing I never got a job distributing people’s paychecks, walking around and handing out the envelopes based on recognizing the faces.
I often run into people who I interacted with through work or common interests, people who you would expect I’d never forget based on the quality of interactions we’ve had. But if enough time passes, that person’s image in my memory fades. But this experience of yours sounds like not enough time had passed to warrant such a fading, which leads me to believe, unfortunately, that you are sufferring from early onset Alzheimers. Just kidding.
*blinks*
This is interesting, and all, but…who are you?
Ybonesy, I have to say that, if it were recent and unique, I’d be worried. (As it is, I’m a bit embarrassed, as appreciate that he laughed it off. The upside is — I’m not too likely to forget that face now.)
A, why I’m I’m — wait a minute. Let me run home and check the name taped atop my bathroom mirror.
I too have trouble with names despite having good face memory. If I am in one of those situations where someone is going around the group and throwing more than four names out I don’t even bother. The disconnect of two types of information that tend to go together reminded me of the recent news item regarding Tony Rosati (Canadian comedian from SCTV then SNL for a season)(http://www.thestar.com/News/article/213298). He had been in and out of institutions for the last decade because he was a danger to his wife. Turns out he has Capgras syndrome. This is when you recognize the face but lose the emotional connection to it (you keep the connection in general but experience this as feeling that the person has been replaced by an alien).
“you keep the connection in general but experience this as feeling that the person has been replaced by an alien”
Oh my freakin’ god. just when you thought you knew most of the bizarre things that might afflict a body, something like this pops up. Yeeep!
Btw, aos, it’s actually my inability to even recognize th face that I’m writing about.
I remember faces and can place them in time but am terrible with names. It’s something I really have to work at. I can spend a week in a writing retreat with 20 people and only know 1/4 of their names. Yet, I know everything about them from their reading and from watching them and their faces. Strange.
I’ve never understood this about myself. And I’m glad there are others who suffer from various forms of face/name amnesia. I see I am in good company! Thanks, Ben.
I’ll confess that I can remember faces (crystal clear, with details), but not that attached names. I forget them a millisecond after they are said. I’ve worked hard to change this, but it’s hopeless. You are in good company.
I wonder if it has something to do with language itself. That words and names are things we later apply to reality, but are an artifical label.
QM, it’s interesting that you will remember the realities of these people’s lives, but not the name/label for the persons themselves. Stevo, I wish I had your knack! Details elude me until I know them well. But I guess we all wish we had the ability we’re short of, huh?